Human Connection: A Must for the Modern Child



The dynamic of a family is no longer based upon the love and support of a caring set of parents or a single parent striving to make a better life for their children. It is centered around whoever thinks they deserve the most attention within the family unit at the time. Parents are letting their children grow up without a human connection on a deeper level that most humans crave. A deep connection and understanding with one parent or sibling can mean the difference between good and bad mental health in a young child as well as into their adulthood.


The family life of any given unit of individuals can usually be predicted as a race to be the most preoccupied with the greatest amount of electronic devices possible. Children are given tablets to keep them occupied. The electronics of today have become the basis for the personality of our children, as well as having become the primary caregiver of many children in the US today.


All of this seems to be, to the perusing reader, merely a complaint, and commentary on the sadness of what things have come to in the last ten years as far as attention towards younglings and involved parenting goes. However, I can assure you there is more to it than that. In fact, this is my way of asking you, the reader, if you will stay with me, because I love my babies, you love your babies, and we want what is best for them. to please look your children in the eyes when you speak to them. Set time aside in your day, every day to enjoy your time with them and make it a special point to know that you value their opinions and you are always there for them to talk to. It is so important for a human person to have human connections to maintain their mental health.


Please look your children in the eyes when you speak to them. Set time aside in your day, every day to enjoy your time with them and make it a special point to know that you value their opinions and you are always there for them to talk to. It is so important for a human person to have human connections to maintain their mental health.


Think back to your childhood. Were you all alone all of the time? Did you have anyone to look up to? Did you have anyone that understood you and looked at you as though they wanted nothing else but to be there with you, and who, when they hugged you, you knew they meant it and that they were to be trusted? Most people, even the loneliest and most poorly treated people have someone who they look up to as a child and grow up to want to model themselves after. For myself, I was lucky enough to have a personal investment of a few people, especially my big brother and sister who talked to me like they cared about me, and made me feel loved.When you have someone that you can be emotionally intimate with, you are able to access and process your emotion and thereby learn to handle them.


Does your child have that? Have you been that person for them? For most people, I would guess that the answer is no. It’s true that everyone has a life and everyone stays busy, in my house this is especially true. The difference in my house is that although we are very busy, I always, always set aside a special time with each of my babies so that they know they are special to me. So that they know that I love them and that I find them far more important than a video game, or an email, or what’s on television that I don’t want to miss. It’s true that we are busy but we are sure to show each other that each of us is more interested in our family than the hustle and bustle that we have to attend to.


Have I been guilty of neglect in this area from time to time? PLEASE! It took us ages to get our acts cleaned up and focus on what’s important. The primary thing to remember is that it’s never too late to improve the lives of your children by increasing your one on one time. There is always time to improve your relationship with them. All it takes is for you to do little things to show that they are important. Get up early and make them breakfast. Surprise them by waiting for them to get off the bus. If you work late, wake them up for a snuggle and a little talk. Take advantage of the little opportunities, and you will see the benefit it does to their mental and emotional health.



12654633_10156473963715147_3170224069259108172_nJoanie stays up late at night wondering if she’s “Mommied” properly that day. She loves her hubs and has an oddly mistaken idea that the weekend still means she gets to sleep in.





Mastering Yourself: When Motivation Doesn’t Cut It

The silver and gold streamers flutter near your face, the champagne glass you’re holding is being topped off by the hostess, everyone is intently watching the clock with wide eyes and raised brows, and Frank Sinatra is blasting through the speakers as your best friend starts to weep profusely about her poor choice of men the last year and wipe her face on the sleeve of the sequined dress she said would look “so super hot” in.

Yes, my friends, I’m speaking of the dreaded New Year’s Eve, and with a new year comes the inevitable New Year’s Resolution. We’ve all been guilty of feeling a flit of optimism on this celebratory night and spewing our goals for the new year as if your laziness will somehow be overcome by motivation. Yeah right, like when does that happen?

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For those of you who struggle to keep your goals, I say this: motivation is probably not what you need. Motivation is all fine and dandy, but what about whipping yourself up a savory batch of discipline instead? Bear with me.

Discipline. Sounds kinky, right? We’re not talking about bedroom antics here, oh no. What I’m talking about is giving yourself a goal, and sticking to it because of this magical little word.

Let’s talk about human nature for a bit.

When you were in school and the teacher gave you homework, what did you do? You did your homework, yes? If you didn’t, then shame on you. But hey, that’s your choice. Let’s stay on topic. For those of you who completed your homework and turned it in (10 points for Gryffindor), why do you think you did? Is it because you wanted to get that A-Plus scholarship sooooo bad in 2nd grade?

Probably not. I can, however, guess the most likely reason why: Discipline. Mmmmm, it sounds so sweet rolling off the tongue. Try it. Yeeeeeah, smooth. Like a grape popsicle dipped in Welch’s Grape Juice. You did that homework because you had to or chaos would run rampant in your life; your mom would have choked you, your dad would have sent you away to a convent or work camp, and your Aunt Mabel wouldn’t have given you that twenty dollars on your birthday.

Yes, my friend, discipline is what keeps the wheels and cogs of this world moving. Without it, motivation is just a word that sounds like a car part I don’t know what to do with. How many times have you uttered the phrase: “I need more motivation”? What is the use of motivation if you don’t create disciplined standards for yourself?

Ever heard of Stephen Covey? You’re about to. This brilliant man said that we don’t achieve our goals because there is a difference between how we do something important compared to how we do something urgent. Your homework in school was urgent because you’d have gotten your arse beat if you didn’t do it, and your goals are just important because they come from yourself. Just important, you ask? Yes.

P.S., buy Mr. Covey’s book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Peoplehere. Moving on…

So, the question you should be asking but I’ll give to you anyway is this: well jee whiz, how do I make something important into something urgent? Wow, what an awesome question (20 points for Gryffindor)! To make a goal urgent, it needs to be dipped in chocolate discipline, covered in motivation sprinkles, wrapped in discipline cellophane, and packaged in a discipline box. Seeing a theme here?

Start small. Make yourself a checklist of things that are urgent. Heck, even write urgent on the top of the checklist. Wow! Don’t even let motivation ruin it for you. Say “this list must be completed today or I will get a butt whooping”, except dad won’t get that switch in the yard, you’ll do it yourself. Hah, I’m kidding, no self flatuation here. Wait, that’s not right. Don’t let yourself even ponder not doing the things on your list; make it mandatory. This is where discipline begins, my friend.

The next time you decide to start that exercise plan or tell yourself “I’m going to learn Cliffs of Dover and play it at Aunt Mabel’s 5th wedding in three months”, think of motivation as the kick-starter for your goal, not the driving force. If you have discipline, even when you don’t “feel like” going to the gym or busting out the old Stratocaster, it will get you through those slumps. If you tell yourself you have to do it, eventually it will become second nature and you’ll have achieved a goal you never thought achievable. Why wait? Try it now. Try it. Go on, try it.

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Nancy likes long walks and fat, fluffy cats